Defining Your Offer
Providing customers and prospects with a weak or poorly defined offer will result in fewer responses than desired. The big question is how many is fewer?
Take auto loans for example.
An example of a weak offer is “Fast Approval.”
This offer was covered in my June 26, 2012 blog, “A Much Stronger Headline – Or is It?” Here’s the newspaper ad in question.
While the offer in this ad consists of two major benefits, the “Fast Approvals” benefit is weak as it is never defined. Does “Fast Approvals” mean one hour, same day, or longer?
Needless to say, I was both surprised and delighted to see the following newspaper ad from the same credit union 19 days later in the same local newspaper.
The first thought that came to mind is the remote possibility that someone at the credit union read my blog and forwarded it to the appropriate marketing person. I’d love to believe this is what happened.
Regardless, as you can see, the marketing team at Golden1 did a superior job of defining exactly what they mean by “Fast Approvals.”
In fact, they attempt to qualify it in the bold headline, in the second bullet point, in the third bullet point, and finally in the last sentence of the body copy.
Four times the copywriter conveyed how quickly a consumer applying for an auto loan might expect to have a credit decision, have access to the funds, and be driving his or her new vehicle.
While the auto loan rate is very important to most borrowers, so is the turnaround time to obtain the loan approval, get the funds, and be driving the new vehicle.
Compare the headline in both ads.
The offer in the June headline consists of two benefits – low rates and fast approval. Unfortunately fast approval was never defined in the ad. And the low rate was immediately visible in the bold subhead.
The offer in the July headline consists of one major benefit – fast approval. In fact, such fast approval that the borrower might be driving his or her new car off the lot the same day. That’s fast!
No need to mention low rates in the headline as it jumps off the page in the bold subhead.
From my perspective, the second ad that ran in the July 13 issue of The Sacramento Bee is far superior to the one that appeared in the June 24 issue.
Do you agree?